Coito Dios mío!
by Jibbly
Summary: Lovino gets in trouble for pulling a prank, and as punishment, he has to take Spanish tutoring from our favorite Spanard! Tons of crack and weirdness! Spain romano lovino yaoi fluff love school
1. Chapter 1

**Coito Dios mío!**

**Well, since I can't find my USB to update MMA. I decided to make a new story!**

**YaY!**

**Lol **

**First hetalia story, so hope it's okay. **

**BTW, I've been in a bad mood because I went to vase and didn't make it to state, only got a crap metal. :P **

**For those of you who know what VASE is, I hope you can sympathize with my pain.**

**Anyway On with the story!**

**Based on what's happening in my life.**

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah don't own.**

**Coito Dios mío! (4)**

Lovino banged his head against the hard cold glass of the window next to his chair at the counselor's office.

'Fuck my life!'

He had broken the camels back with his latest prank. The counselor was usually so linant with him too! Maybe he took her for granted? (1) Not that that mattered all that much now.

Here he was, waiting outside the counselor's office to find out what his punishment was.

What was his horrible prank that he did to get him in such big trouble?

Well, he just so happened to dump a whole barrel of tomatoes on the soccer team as they were going out of the athletic building. Not that he had anything against the soccer team. Just one player unparticular.

That freakishly tall potato bastard!

That was his real target, getting the whole team was just an added bonus.

But as fate would have it, one of the players, Alfred , was allergic to tomatoes, and ended up having a pretty bad reaction to it. And it just so happens, that the annoying American was one of the counselor's favorite students.

And boy was she furious at him!

He could just picture that sadistic grin that the older female brunette had given him, when she said she needed time to come up with a suitable punishment for him. He had been suspended, sure, for three days, but that was nothing to what that pyhscotic woman had in store for him.

Lovino frigitted in his seat. The suspense was killing him, god damnit!

There was a woman behide the desk in front of him that was picking at her fingernails and held the phone in-between her shoulder and ear as she said random things that didn't concern him. He wouldn't have cared, but the stupid lady was practically yelling.

'Jesus! Who the fuck is the there with her that she's taking so fucking long!'

The Counselor was talking to another student, so he couldn't go in , but FUCK! They've been in there for HOURS!

Okay maybe not hours, but a fucking long time anyway!

Just when he thought he was going to explode, Arthur Kirkland stepped out of the office.

'Dick, probably complaining about how the toilets weren't clean enough for his royal ass. Or to ask for another golden throne so he could sit on.' (2)

The blond brit saw him, and scrunched up his nose. Which Lovino proudly showed off his favorite finger to him.

You know the one. Two fingers to the left, two fingers to the right.

He was about to trip the older male, when he heard the voice he'd been fearing all day.

"Vargas! Get your ass in her NOW!"

The secretary on the phone yelled back.

"You can't say ass, Ms. Perez."

"VARGAS! NOW!"

God women were scary.

Hanging his head, the brunette made his way over to the office where his fate would be sealed.

Passing the secretary, he felt like muttering his will if he shouldn't make it out alive, but kept quiet and continued to the doorway of the demon counselor.

The first thing he noticed was the extreme overload of blue the office had. He had found out long ago that Ms. Perez was in an intimate relationship with the color blue.

Looking over to the desk, he saw the back of the chair the other person was sitting on.

"Sit down, Lovino."

He gulped.

He hadn't even said goodbye to his baby brother!

Taking his seat on a dark blue, rather comfortable seat, he chewed on his bottom lip.

After a few seconds, the woman turned to face the scared boy in her almighty presence. A completely neutral look of her naturally tan face.

And all too soon, she grinned like it was Christmas.

"Well hello, my beloved Lovino! You know why you're here don't you?"

Lovino felt like he could cry. She only used that smile when she was about to tear down a person. Like a Lion and a helpless gazelle.

"Ye-yes!" He yelped out.

"I-I know why I'm here. And I'm very sorry!"

He knew he sounded pathetic, but from the tilt in the other's head and a more sugary sweet smile that seemed to take over her face, Ms. Perez didn't give a shit if he was sorry.

"Oh, I know Lovino! I know! But I still have to place a punishment onto you, you know!"

He nodded his head shakily.

"And so, I was looking over all of your information and I found something quite interesting."

Lovino's shoulders tensed. He didn't know where she was going with this, but it couldn't be anything good.

"I-Is that right? Like what exactly?"

That smile was back on her face.

"Oh, nothing really. It's just that I noticed that you only have two credits for a foreign language class."

'Oh dear god NO!'

Lovino's head shot up.

"Yes, but all I need are two credits to graduate!"

She waved her finger in the air, in a tsk tsk manner.

"Aw, but Lovi! You need three full credits to graduate distinguished! And I decided as a counselor, that I want to see you achieve this goal! Besides, this last credit is the only thing from graduating distinguished anyway. Well, besides the senor classes you'll take next year. "

"But-But! It's okay! I don't have to graduate disinguished! I'm totally fine with it!"

He was desperate! Anything but this!

"But, I've already called up your grandfather and he was delighted! Said that he supported it 100%! To use force if necessary."

He had just found the devil in human form! This woman was pure evil!

He slumped in his chair.

"But….I'm not even good at Spanish! I copied my whole first and second year!"

As if she was expecting he might say that, she smiled.

God did he hate that smile with a passion!

"I know, Lovi. That's why I took the liberty of assigning a personal tutor to help you out! I hand picked him too! He passed with the highest grade in Spanish AP III, so it'll work out perfectly! Come on in!"

Lovino tensed in his seat as he sensed another presence enter the room. He slowly turned to see the other.

"Hola My nombre es António! Seré su tutor por lo siguiente poco meses! Esperanza nosotros marcharse , y ponerse bueno amigos!"(3)

'**FUCK MY LIFE!'**

**Well, here you are my baby birds. **

**A snack until I find my USB and update the newest chapter for **

**MMA**

**Lol **

**Romano is very much like me in this fic.**

**I don't understand Spanish for SHIT!**

**And I'm Mexican!**

**So that looks bad.**

**Lol anyway yay**

**Been wanting to do a fic like this for a while**

Ten bucks to guess who the counselor is :D

I have nothing against Arthur! I lub him! This is just from Romano's view

"**Hi! My name is Antonio! I'll be your tutor for the next few months! Hope we get along, and become good friends!"**

"**Fuck My Life!"**


	2. Crap

**Meh. Well, this piece of crap has been sitting in m usb forever and I'm like.**

'**I don't like it, but might as well finish polishing this terd.'**

**I'm not in my most creative of moods today, so I'm sorry if this is a total disappointment.**

**Disclaimer: I no owe**

**Crap**

Lovino felt like throwing something.

Preferably something big and heavy. And aimed at a certain green-eyed, smiling, Spanish speaking, idoit bastard.

The other wasn't just an idoit. Oh no! He was on a whole other level! An idoit bastard! He just kept smiling! It was starting to freak him the fuck out!

"Stop that, moron!"

Lovino yelled out at Antonio from across the table they were sitting at.

Oh yeah. Did he mention that they were in the upperclassmen's house? No? Oh well, that's where they are!

The other's eyes widened and he grinned.

"Pedo, Yo no-"

"I don't understand what you're saying idoit! Maybe if you weren't so fucking stupid, you'd remember that I don't know Spanish!"

Lovino's eyebrow twitched.

'Damn it!'

He knew he was being unreasonably harsh, but he didn't care. He didn't want a tutor! He didn't need another fucking foreign language credit! He didn't want this stranger with him! At the guy's house none the less!

The smile had disappeared from the tanned male's face. He looked at Lovino sadly and looked off to the side. And for some reason, it pissed the other off that he wasn't looking at him.

'This is going to be more difficult than I thought at first. Maybe he shouldn't have accepted this assignment. He probably doesn't even remember me anymore.' Antonio stood up from his chair and headed towards his living room.

Lovino was surprised by the sudden movement.

"He-hey!"

He mentally slapped and cursed himself for stuttering.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The other stopped and looked back at the male in the room.

"Vein con miego."

After a few seconds of Lovino staring blankly at him, Antonio sighed and decided to translate what he had just said into English.

"Come with me." (If you want to live! LMFAO! XD)

That was the first time that Lovino had actually heard Antonio speak English. The counselor had explained that they were going to the upperclassmen's house to study every day for at least two hours each day. The other had only nodded, grinned, and said the occasional. "Si, senora Perez." Of "Si, chicito Lovino admoso." That last one had earned the other hard kicks in the shin.

He may not know a lot of Spanish, but he knew enough to get by…Sort of. But he knew most of the slang and bad words. He especially knew when someone was calling him little and cute.

' He wasn't even short, damn it!'

Lovino followed Antonio into what he presumed was the other's living room.

Antonio's house was so big! It was big but comforting and relaxed. There was also the occasional maid, but he hadn't seen anyone else in the house.

The older male laid himself on the longest coach, leaving two one –seaters, and a slighter shorter coach than the one Antonio was lying on.

Lovino opted for the shorter long coach.

Did that even make sense?

Sitting down, he noticed that Antonio had closed his eyes. It kind of looked like he was sleeping.

Lovino blushed when he noticed that the other's shirt had risen up, exposing some of the other's toned and tanned stomach.

'Jesus! Look at those fucking abs!'

The Italian stopped his thinking process from getting any further in that thought, and mentally kicked himself in the face.

'No! Don't look at those abs that looked like they were photo shopped onto the other from Brad Pitt!'

(Think of Brad Pitt's abs in the movie Fight club. Yeah, that's Antonio's stomach. Sue me if you don't like it. Oh wait! You can't! Na nan a na boo boo!)

Antonio clearing his throat brought him out of his stupor, blushing furiously at having been caught staring. He wasn't even going to acknowledge the fact that the other looked pleased with himself.

Lovino fell onto the couch and crossed his arms over his chest, still not looking over at the upperclassmen.

"So are we going to sit here all day, or what?"

Antonio ran a tanned hand through his chocolate locks, slightly frustrated.

"Look, I know you didn't exactly sign up for this," He began, choosing to just talk in English for now, even though his accent was still heard. "But we're going to be stuck together for a while, so we might as well make the most of it."

The Italian looked over to the other.

'well, he has a point. Not like he could just not see him. I hope Ms. Perez gets a speeding ticket or something bad, like gaining weight.'

Lovino uncrossed his arms from his chest and leaned forward to show that his full attention was on the tanned brunette. "So what exactly are you trying to say?"

Antonio saw that the other had stopped sulking and was now leaning towards him, one of his eyebrows raised. The younger male asked his question, and it took him a while for him to find the right words. After a moment of silence, he could tell that the other was getting restless. The cutest pout on the other's full lips. Antonio let out a deep chuckle and a happy smile.

"I'm saying that we should make the best of this."

Lovino blushed at the smile Antonio had on his face. And damn if it wasn't the most charming grin he has ever seen. He quickly turned his head from the other, cursing how easily his cheeks flushed.

"Yeah, I guess so."

A quick second passed, before Lovino's head shot up. He was glaring, but it lost its effect from the intense blush on his face.

"But that doesn't mean that I have to like you!"

"Ah, but you need my help. Verdad que si?"

"…."

Antonio sighed loudly.

"This is going to be harder than I thought."

**Bleh**

**This is crap, but this unfinished thing had been in my poor usb for months already and I was tired of seeing it.**

**I don't like this story anymore, but I'll keep on trucking through it.**

**Review**


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